...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
