My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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