We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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