His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
