Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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