I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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