She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
