Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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