I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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