Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
