Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
