dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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