I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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