I can't breathe out the right side of my face
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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