You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize