Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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