great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
