I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize