One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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