Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
