just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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