WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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