insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
