anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
