Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
