She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
