party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
