I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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