Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
