all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
