Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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