I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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