you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
