Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
