i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
