Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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