I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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