if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just had sex bonerless
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
