You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
