Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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