It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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