im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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