Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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