I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
