Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
