either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize