My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize