I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize