If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
