oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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