Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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