When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I deserve this hangover.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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