yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
