We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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