Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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