That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
