Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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